5 Reasons Why Date Night Helped Our Marriage

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I don’t talk much about my marriage here on the blog. It’s something I like to keep just between my husband and myself. But one thing I have shared on here are our date nights. I’ve even offered tips on making date night a priority. Ever since having my son (almost) 7 years ago, it’s been an important part of our marriage and something that allows us to connect with each other a monthly basis.

It’s important to schedule date night in advance if you can. Put it on both of your calendars and set a reminder! We’ve even purchased season tickets to the local theater so we have a built in date night already paid for a few times a year. But date nights don’t have to be elaborate or expensive if you don’t want them. They can be as simple as take out and a bottle of wine at home in front of the TV. As long as the kids are either sleeping over at Grandma’s or fast asleep in their beds. And the tablets, laptops, and phones are put away.

And when the kids are little, consider date afternoons. Since I prefer to put our kids to bed when they’re babies, we move our schedule around and enjoy afternoons together instead of evenings. It still gives us the time together but then we’re home in the evenings with the kids. However when they get older, it’s also nice to schedule 1-2 nights away from the kids as well if you can!

5 Reasons Why Date Night Helped Our Marriage

1. Communication Without Interruption

If you have kids you know why this is so important. Whenever my husband and I have conversations at home and the kids are around it’s in short bursts here and there because we’re constantly getting interrupted to tie a shoelace, get a snack, or stop one kid from beating on the other. Being able to have alone time with one another without interruption is something that’s allowed the both of us to talk about anything and everything that’s been going on lately. Whether it’s the job, finances, our upcoming plans for the next month, or the next birthday, we can start and finish a conversation during date night all in one sitting.

2. No Talking About The Kids (Mostly)

While date night is great for communication without interruption, we try to leave talking about the kids to a minimum. We can do that at home after bedtime. Or via text message throughout the day. Leaving the kid talk to a minimum gives us the opportunity to chat about ourselves. Our relationship cannot just be based on our children, because that wouldn’t be marriage, that’d just be co-parenting. So we take this time to talk about our relationship and the topics we want to discuss but might not have had the chance during our busy days.

3. Finding New Interests

Through date night we’ve both been able to plan events that the other might not necessarily love. I give in to an action movie he wants to see, and he sits through a play I want to see. Or we try a new restaurant out together. It’s fun to explore and create new memories with him that we can share. It keeps the time we spend together interesting.

4. Alone Time

With the craziness of our lives, work, the kids, meetings, after school commitments, sports, etc, sometimes it’s hard to find alone time. There are some days where I see my husband only in passing. And the only conversations we have are about who’s picking up the kids or what bills need to be paid. We’ve realized that with the crazy, we need the calm. We need alone time together so we don’t forget how to talk to one another.

5. Reconnecting

Every date is an opportunity to reconnect with my husband. I get to know him more, we get to talk about what’s important to us (or just chat about nothing at all), and we spend quality time together. And when you’ve been together for 15 years (married for 8.5) that reconnection is what keeps the relationship strong. Sure, there are difficult times. But that doesn’t mean we stop date night. It means we continue to get together even when we’re mad in an effort to continue to keep that conversation going. Because marriage is fluid. Marriage is constantly changing just as we as individuals are. And we need that reconnection, that continuation of growth, to keep our marriage strong.

Do you have regular date nights with your significant other?