A friend of mine and I got to talking one day. About life. And kids. And how jealous we get of each other. Not necessarily jealous, no, that’s no the right word, but how inadequate we felt about ourselves as moms when we started to compare how we mother, how we live and how quickly (or slowly) our children accomplished milestones to how others are doing it. It got me thinking how many other friends feel this way. How many other girlfriends who don’t really see the “real” me.
You see… I’m far from a perfect mom (big surprise there). I do think that some of this mothering thing really did come naturally. I truly feel that some part of our ability to be a mom is innate. So I may make certain things look natural but what you don’t know is that I am really good at keeping things in. And failing to mention other things.
I get angry with my son. And sometimes even with my infant daughter who can’t even speak yet. I raise my voice. I tap little hands when they pinch or hit. And sometimes I yell and get mad when he sits in front of me and pees his pants on purpose even though every book I’ve read tells me it’s not the right thing to do. My son eats french fries when we go out for lunch or dinner. Sometimes he doesn’t get one vegetable in him. And sometimes I forget to give him breakfast (bad mom right there!).
My parenting style is not reflective of one book or one belief. It’s an accumulation of many different influences and what feels right. Sometimes it’s just what feels right at that moment. And sometimes what “feels right” is choosing the easiest choice for that time. Following the path of least resistance.
What’s funny is that all of mine and my husband’s major choices in parenting seem to make us (me) look pretty crunchy. I breastfeed, We co-sleep, I baby-wear, I make our children’s food (for the most part), I didn’t sleep train (might consider it with the second) and try not to let my child cry for long. But what these choices in parenting don’t show is why I do all of these things. And to tell you the truth the answer is that I do most of these things out of convenience.
So I’m going to break down the different aspects of my “parenting style” for you this week. Give you a little inside look to my choices and decisions as a parent. Feel free to ask questions, point out my flaws, share your parenting style and over all feel better about how you parent (or how you’re going to do everything better when you do parent) because you shouldn’t feel bad about how you’re doing it.
As long as your kids are happy, healthy and fed I’m sure you’re doing a great job!