Being a Mom Archives - A Crafty Spoonful

What They Don’t Tell You After Birth: Light Bladder Leakage

This post featuring light bladder leakage tips is sponsored by Poise. 

When I had my son there were so many different things friends and family tried to tell me. Their  tips, advice, and suggestions. But in all of those tips, advice, and suggestions they never told me about the things that happen… down there… after the baby is here.

 I don’t mean right after giving birth (although that could be a whole other post), I mean a few months later when you aren’t pregnant anymore and are heading out for your first run post-baby and all of a sudden you’re a mile away from home and have a little dribble of pee running down your legs.

No, seriously. This happens people! And it’s not fun!

new running shoes [Read more…]

5 Great Ways for Moms to Get Out in San Diego

Being a mom doesn’t mean that we can’t get out and have fun anymore. It just means that we need to get a little creative to do so. Lucky for me, I live in a city filled with entertainment and a never-ending list of places to go and things to do.

Since my time away from the family is much valued but short lived, I need to make the most of it and really create great memories to hold me over until the next time I get out.

Here are a few ways I like to enjoy my time away from the kids and family while enjoying the city I live in.

5 Great Ways for Moms to Get Out in San Diego

1. Happy Hour – 

Now happy hour is not the same as it was pre-kids. No longer are we heading to an upscale bar after work for a few drinks, appetizers, and some girl time that goes late into the night.

Happy Hour has now become any time the girls get together at a place with food without the kids. Drinks may or may not happen but all we know is that we’re eating a whole meal without having to feed another being.

We also will be able to eat our meal while it’s still hot and won’t have to worry about asking for it to-go because of a tantrum. Meals away from the family means chit chat and girl time at its best… un-filtered!

And if there is booze involved… watch out! Cause moms are usually quite fun when tipsy (but always safe)!

2. Networking in Disguise – 

One of the best things about my life as a mom is the fact that I get to hang out with other cool moms all the time. And sometimes we get to network with each other finding out that we might be able to help each other more than we thought!

And one event that brings moms together to do just that are the SD Mom’s Night Out events. They are an absolutely amazing way to relax, reconnect, and network with other moms in San Diego who you might not have known about. From Momtrepreneurs to bloggers to stay-at-home-moms looking for a great way to get out and explore. Each event is different and has something else to offer.

The next event is their one year anniversary and it isn’t to be missed! Not only is it being held at Kin Spa, it also includes some amazing perks and goodies! To read more about the SD Mom’s Night Out Anniversary Event, check out my post here.

Click here to purchase tickets for the event.

3. My Favorite Things – 

Every few months my mom friends and I get together for what we call a My Favorite Things party. We each bring 5 $6 items that we’ve dubbed as our favorite thing and we pass them out to each other (drawing names to choose who gets what). We eat and drink our favorite things too!

I love this type of event because it’s low maintenance and it’s a way to learn about things I might not have known about in daily conversations with my friends.  Our last Favorite Things party focused on our favorite kid items. And as you can imagine it was pretty hard to chose one item for $6 or less to share. But I was amazed again at the products that were shared and have fallen in love with a few new awesome things!

4. Playdates – 

Yes, I know. This technically is not getting away from the kids but my friends are awesome. And when we get together, we are able to mingle and chat while our kids play around us. Most of the time I’ll host playdates at my home and just rope the kids off into certain parts of the house and yard. That way the moms can sit in one central location and chat without having to worry about what trouble our kids are getting into.

This option does require a little bit of work but the reward is much worth it. Not only do we each get to sit and enjoy adult conversations, we also get to tire our kids out so that when we do go home they (hopefully) take nice, long naps. Win-win!

Now these adult conversations aren’t always just about us. Usually one way or another we end up talking about some pretty fun topics. Bladder control, birth, and a few other wonderful mommyhood moments having to do with poop usually come up.

5. Shopping – 

Whether it’s for groceries or for clothes… shopping alone is always considered a great way to get out in my book. Not only do I get to enjoy some peace and quiet, I get to participate in one of my favorite activities… spending money!

While I love time with my kids, I don’t love having to worry about my kids breaking everything within reach while we’re out and about. I’ve learned that I’m a lot less stressed when I can go to a store alone and actually consider it relaxing to shop knowing that my kids are elsewhere having fun and not asking if they can have every.single.thing they see at the store.

What do you do for your mom-time without the kids?

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by SD Mom’s Night out. I received two tickets for their SD Mom’s Night Out Anniversary event in exchange for this post. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. 

Two Too Many?

Sometimes I wonder if I’d been better off sticking with one child.

Don’t get me wrong. I love both of my children with my whole heart, body, and soul. But sometimes I feel as if I’m gypping them of the mother I could be if I weren’t pulled in so many different directions. If I only had the time and energy focused on one, and not both.

I fondly look back at that first year and a half with my son and wonder if our relationship would have been different if I waited to have a second child. Or just had one child. He was mine and my husband’s whole world and I absolutely loved spending every single minute with him.

I felt like a good mother. A great mother some days.

When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter my son was only 13 months old. I was excited, nervous, and hormonal. But I knew I could handle it. If I was a good mother to one I could be a good mother to two, right?

I happily went along throughout the whole pregnancy with this idea that being a mother to two would be hard but doable. People do it all the time. They even have more than two kids. Why couldn’t I? Friends and acquaintances made it look so easy.

And then my daughter was born.

I felt as if I couldn’t figure out how to spend time with my son without having my daughter right there with us. The alone time I thought I’d get with him each week to continue building our relationship was focused on my daughter. With her lack of interest in the bottle I was basically “tied down” to her until she started solids. And even then we had issues since she didn’t care much for purees and other foods.

My son started to bond more and more with my husband, mother-in-law, and aunt-in-law and he started needing me less. Our relationship really started to change and I wasn’t his world anymore. I was the parent who took care of the crying baby. When he got hurt or needed anything his first reaction was to turn to my husband. And while normally I would have been overjoyed at this response, I took it as a silent stab at my heart. My son didn’t want me.

But I moved past these feelings and continued to move forward. When my daughter was 6 months old I quit my 9-5 job and became a WAHM. Weekdays were just the three of us. I made sure to get out to playdates a few times a week, attempted to keep up with the housework, and tried to keep the kids on some sort of schedule.

But I was failing. 

Even though I wasn’t working outside of the home anymore I felt as if I were being pushed into so many different directions that the basic needs of the family weren’t being met. I felt like a bad mother. And I felt as if others could see it too. The good mother image I had when I only had one child was being replaced. With what? I wasn’t sure exactly.

I didn’t have many people to talk to and felt as if I were being shut out because of the image I created. Happy mother to one who could handle it all turned to over-scheduled, unavailable mother to two who shuts everyone out. And looking back on everything, the fact that I had no one to turn to was my own doing. I didn’t put enough energy into the friendships and relationships I held so dear.

Maybe I just didn’t want to feel as inadequate as I thought I was. I didn’t want to see the perfection in others that I thought I should have. But in hindsight I realize that I was kidding myself to think that everyone else was perfect.

Throughout the past few months I’ve found myself trying to get back in touch with the person I once was. To find a balance in my life. But I keep coming to the realization that the balance I am craving just isn’t going to happen. I need to find an alternative. And I know I’ve blogged about this before. Or maybe just talked about it with friends, but I feel as if I need to write this down. To be accountable for my feelings.

I’ve started to change the way I view a “good mother” and am working on trying to become a good mother once again. I just keep coming back to the thought that maybe I’m in over my head. Maybe two children are just too many.

I absolutely love my kids. As I’ve said before, they’re my whole world now. And I know how precious this time I have with them is. However I think that I have cared too much about the mother image that I’ve grown lazy when it comes to actually being one.

I might have to add that I’ve written half of this post after having two glasses of wine so my words might not make as much sense as they do in my head. And my original concept for this post might have gone out the window with the second glass but…

Being a mother to two is nothing of what I thought it would be. I honestly thought that the ease in which I found motherhood the first time would reappear when I had my second. But adding a second kid is a whole other game altogether. And now I’m finding myself doubt my abilities a heck of a lot more.

I think maybe the focus on the image of motherhood and not the actuality of being a mother was where I went wrong. I heard about what a “good mother” I was from so many other people that I didn’t want their image of me to change when I started to struggle. The front that I gave as a woman in control was just that, a front. And now I have to deal with reality.

And now as a bottle of wine has been emptied this post falls to an end. I will begin again tomorrow as a new week starts and I’ll attempt to be the mother I wish I was. I will try to remember that the pressure I feel to be a good mother is only placed by myself, no one else. And if the pressure to be a good mother comes from anywhere else I’ll just have to ignore it. And trust that my instincts as a mother are enough for my children. Both of them.


Are you a mother to two or more? Do you ever feel as if you’re in over your head with two?

Case of the Mondays

Do you ever have a day that just, well, sucks?

That was totally me this Monday. I don’t know what was going on but on Monday the universe hated me. Sure, I tried to make the best of it and moved forward but I’m still feeling the impact and not in a good way.

Monday started out like any other day. Woke up to my son rubbing my arm and my daughter slapping my chest asking to nurse. We got up, I made coffee and fixed breakfast, and logged in online to check email, facebook, work stuff, etc while the kids watched Curious George.

And what do I see as soon as I open my email? An email notifying me that an order I placed online was cancelled due to an item being out of stock. Why in the heck would an online retailer, in this internet-crazed world, not be able to update their site with the correct availability BEFORE emailing a great deal? When you email something to your subscribers you want them to buy, right?

So I just left it at that and won’t be returning to purchase the item when it’s in stock. 

Then there was a last minute change to our planned playdate due to the weather and I had to deal with an upset 3 year old and try to explain why we couldn’t go play. That was easily resolved when I made other plans with another mama friend. 

Of course, as I’m trying to convince my son that it’s not the end of the world and we’d be going to the park at the beach instead, my egg cups burned. Who wants burnt eggs for breakfast? Not my picky eaters!

Three for three and it wasn’t even 8am. 

Then as we’re headed out the door to make it to our new playdate my daughter decides it’d be a great time to put her shoe in the toilet. It was dirty and needed a bath, right?

We finally got into the car, fed, dressed (minus the soggy shoe), and ready for fun when my cell phone started acting up. Now this isn’t the first time my stupid phone started going on the fritz. But since I wasn’t familiar with getting to the park we were headed to I desperately needed the Maps app to work. And work correctly.

When you need technology it just isn’t there for you, right? But I figured it out and made it to the park.

But we made the most of our day and enjoyed the beautiful weather at the beach. It was overcast, but warm, and the kids had a blast in the sand and water. They shared toys, snacks, and I shared a moment of peace with the other mamas as our kids happily played in front of us.

The worst part about my day, though? The fact that I gained 3lbs and was over my starting weight from two weeks ago. How in the heck did that happen? Oh, did I mention I was back on Weight Watchers again? I’ll have to leave the weight loss for another post.

So even though the day started out like crap it wasn’t as bad as it seemed as I was going through it.But I think it created a chain reaction. Needles to say, I can’t wait for this week to be over! Luckily I’ll end my week with Mamafest and Legoland. Good friends and family time. Perfection.

Have you ever had a case of the Mondays? 

Is it Time to Break Up?

Source

When do you know it’s time to break up with a friend? 

I think many of us have been there before. For one reason or another we grow apart from those we once called friends. Lack of common interest, our lives and kids and husbands get in the way, or there’s a falling out. The relationship becomes one-sided and you feel like you’re just trying too hard without any reciprocity.

I haven’t had much experience with breaking up with people. Boyfriends and friends alike.

I’ve either moved away, gotten another job, etc. It was an easy separation that required no further action. But I’ve always left doors open for reconnection in the future. However after feeling like a friend just isn’t interested anymore, I think I need to do something further.

I’ve been left out, cancelled on, and ignored. But as soon as I forgive and forget I feel like I get sucked in just to get hurt all over again. And admittedly shed a few tears. I thought this was all left back in high school?

So I’m asking now, how do you break up with a friend?


Talking It Out
In the past I’ve had great luck approaching a friend and talking everything out. Sure, it was awkward as heck but I just had to remember that the other person might not even realize something’s going on. So unless the issues are discussed, the real problem might just lie with the fact that I was over-analyzing everything.

However sometimes talking it out can lead to even more gaps in the relationship. The friend didn’t understand where the feelings were coming from or they just didn’t want to make more of an effort in the friendship for whatever reason. So if this doesn’t mend things, it might be time to take more action. Or take no action at all. 


Avoiding Communication
So we’ve tried to talk it out and things just didn’t work. What do we do next? The next step might just be to avoid all communication. The friend might be doing the same thing. Happy Hour plans are no longer made, invitations to parties are forgotten, Facebook statuses and blog posts are ignored.

But this just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. Discuss together and move on, right? Talk about it, bring up the issues, and come to a mutual and mature decision.


Cutting Out Completely
So talking it out didn’t work and avoiding communication just isn’t the key. Now we have to move forward and face the facts. Both sides aren’t willing to put the effort needed to continue the relationship so it’s time to cut ties completely.

Of course all of this can be done in a civil, respectful fashion. If mutual friends are involved then maybe the relationship gets bumped from friendship to acquaintance. It’s not that bad, right? And the sheer fact that we meet so many people in our lives means that we have to realize that not every friendship will last and stay strong. And sometimes some friendships are only meant to teach us certain things. The friendships that really matter are the one’s that will stick.

So what do you do when a friendship has fallen apart and you just need to end things? 

Disclaimer: If you’re reading this blog post, this post isn’t about you. I’ve already discussed the issues at hand with said friend and we’re working things out for a mutual break.

It Aint Always Rosy {Naptime}

Just about every mommy or parenting book out there says basically the same thing about naps. They’re important. And routine/nap schedules are key to a happy child. So if your child takes two naps a day you should make sure that they take those naps in the same place (or similar) at the same time daily. No alterations should be made so that they have the optimum environment for peaceful sleeping. And NO letting them sleep where distractions are bound to wake them up.

Try abiding by these rules when you have an infant who takes two (and sometimes three) naps and a toddler who takes one nap usually at alternating times. You’d get one grumpy toddler who’s cooped up at home because their sibling is sleeping during playtime. Enter our routine. In order to make everyone happy I’ve tried my best to work around this situation. And I think it works… for us.

We only do playdates in the mornings. That way M gets a cat nap before we leave (or while we’re out) and can take a longer nap when we come home and her brother naps. Staying home in the afternoons is no big deal since it’s getting hotter and hotter at that time. Now I’m trying to get E to nap later in the day so we can align the two naptimes together and Mommy can get some solid alone time to get work done.  You know… the cleaning, dinner prep, internet surfing, and work. Oh, did I let that third one slip? Mama needs some mindless entertainment too!

When M was taking multiple naps a day (read: more than two) I wouldn’t just stay home and let her sleep. She’d get her sleep in the car, in the ergo or in the stroller so her brother could go to playdates with his friends. I figured as long as she was getting at least some sleep she’d be good, right? Our plan seemed to be working.

Well now that she’s on two naps a day I am constantly resisting the urge to just stay home all day and let her sleep. Some days she gets only one good nap a day and others she gets woken up way before she can get a decent amount of sleep. It gets me wondering what really is best. A toddler who is happy and well socialized or an infant who has her solid, peaceful rest.

And then I have to also mention the fact that M still naps in her swing when we’re home. Or on me. We still haven’t attempted another go at getting her to sleep in the crib and I have been putting off letting her sleep in our bed like E did at this age because I don’t want her to get used to it. So I think I’m kind of setting myself up for failure. I need to just bite the bullet and start working on a naptime routine where both kids are sleeping in their rooms (don’t worry, E has that one down after 2+ years).

It Aint Always Rosy {Potty Training}

So I had the perfect plan. I was going to do the 3 Day Potty Training e-book method and E was going to be potty trained. Easy as that. We read the e-book. I stocked up on underwear, treats and prizes. And I talked to E the whole time about how he was such a big boy now that he was 2 and big boys pee pee and poo poo in the potty. He showed signs of readiness as early as 18 months old and fit the list of “readiness” checks that almost every potty training book/article highlighted. So it would have to be easy, right? I mean, yeah, he also had a new baby sister but that wasn’t anything big.

The weekend of training seemed to be a success. By the third day he was saying “pee pee” before he had to go and was going on the toilet. And even when we started going out and running errands he stayed dry and successful. He really seemed to pick up on it and get it fast. I was definitely proud of my boy.

Then somewhere between 2-3 months into being potty trained he seemed to regress. Not every day. Maybe an accident every 2-3 days. Usually it was just when he was busy playing or outside running around. Then about a month or two ago it started getting worse. And by worse I mean 4-5 accidents in a row after sitting and going a little on the potty. I got so worried I had the doctor check him out because he said that his penis hurt. I was worried that he may have a UTI or something.

All tests came back clear and nothing was wrong with him. And I just realized he just didn’t care. Seriously. He lost interest in going potty on the toilet. So I tried something new. I downloaded a potty chart and got some stickers. I told him if he told mommy he had to go potty then he got a sticker. When he filled up a row he got a prize and when he filled up the whole chart we would go to the store and he could pick out anything he wanted (within reason of course).

And he lost interest after a day. He just didn’t care. I would ask him to tell me when he had to go pee pee every 1/2 an hour. And literally 1-2 minutes after I asked and he said no he’d turn around, look at me and pee his pants. He’d also start to run away from me when I told him to tell me he had to go and would pee in a corner. I was losing patience and losing it fast.

About two weeks ago Joseph came home to me in tears. I had had enough. I broke down and put a diaper on E. Told him that if he wanted to pee in his underwear like a baby then he’d have to wear a diaper like a baby. He cried and said no when I put it on. I told him that if he kept the diaper dry and told me when he had to go potty then I’d put his underwear back on him.

I came and asked again in 1/2 an hour if he wanted to try and go potty and he said, “No, I go in diaper.” I about blew a fuse. I was so upset. But I had Molly in my arms and didn’t want to get upset with him so I said, “Ok, then we’ll have to change you into another diaper.” He replied with a simple OK and didn’t resist me putting a diaper on him. After this horrible day I regained focus and decided to move forward with underwear.

The next day Ethan had no accidents. We started putting stickers for when he went potty AND giving him a choice of a marshmallow or gummy penguin (Trader Joe’s) treat every time he went on the potty. I started to realize that even though he long ago learned how to hold his pee for a few hours that he was releasing only a little bit at a time when I sat him down and than peeing a little in his underwear and pants a little later on. So I started to ask him to try and get all the pee pee out when he sat down on the potty.

It was working. No accidents for two more days. But he still won’t tell me when he has to go. He’ll just go try whenever I ask him if he will tell me he has to go. I pray for the day that he starts telling me again. It will be much easier than me remembering every 1/2-1 hour. I’ve also started driving around with a potty in the trunk. Just in case.

I pray that it gets easier from here but highly doubt it. I never realized how strong willed he was until we began this journey. I know we’ll have regressions again. And I will need to work on controlling myself instead of giving in to his rebellion. Because really it’s just that. He’s trying to figure out how much he can push. What I’ll give into and what he can get away with. I’m definitely not giving in. I have 25 years on him, right?

It Aint Always Rosy {Breastfeeding}

Breastfeeding

I have had a fairly easy time breastfeeding. My children, from the start, had a great latch and breastfed well. And they seemed to really enjoy breastfeeding. There was not something I did, or read, to allow for this. It really was just the right combination of everything that allowed me to continue to breastfeed with ease. And because it was so easy for me I just kept going.

I had to introduce a bottle to my son fairly early on. When he was only two days old I was told I had to supplement with formula until my milk came in due to jaundice. He had no problem taking the bottle and nipple confusion was non-existent. He took a pacifier, he breastfed and he took the bottle. It was pretty awesome. Then he gave up the pacifier at 9 months. And only wanted me to soothe him. It was hard. But we got through it. And now, even though I am not breastfeeding him anymore, he still rubs my arm to soothe himself.

When my daughter was born I just assumed she would take a bottle as well. Trying to figure out our lives after we brought her home we just forgot about the whole bottle thing until I started pumping when she was about 3-4 weeks old. I wanted to start a freezer stash for when I went back to work so I started pumping once in the morning. I asked my husband to give her the bottle when I was out for a bit one evening and came back to a screaming child. She had refused to take anything from the bottle.

We thought it was a fluke. So we continued trying every few days and she never seemed to take anything from the bottle. I was starting to get worried when my return date for work fast approached. The day before I was scheduled to come back to work I tried the bottle again. And she took 1.5 ounces!!! I was relieved. And I happily left her with my husband for the day. And she didn’t take anything from him so he ended up coming to me at lunch for her to nurse. And so it continued.

The two days I worked she would hold out until my husband, mother-in-law and aunt-in-law brought her to me. I couldn’t handle it any longer and decided we would be better off if I was home with her 100% of the time until we could focus on other foods for her main source of nutrition (solids are not the main form of nutrition for infants until they hit 12 months, formula or breast milk should still be the main portion of their diet). So I have actually quit my job to feed my child.

I don’t know what would have happened if things didn’t go well with breastfeeding from the start. I really didn’t have a large support group of lactivists around me when I came home with my son. Sure there was the friendly internet but I didn’t feel like I had a buddy right next to me whom I could confide in for help. I think I felt more of the opposite. Those around me were more willing to encourage me to throw in the towel and start formula. I’m not sure if I’d push forward and seek the help I might need if I did need assistance or if I had problems I couldn’t figure out the answers for.

I now know that I need to be more open about my knowledge of breastfeeding, my experiences and the research I’ve done. I want new mothers to feel empowered, not scared to admit that it isn’t as easy as everyone makes it to be. I want new mothers who run into problems to know that if they truly want to exhaust all resources before throwing in the towel then there’s someone here for them to help them along the way. I also want new mothers to know that they AREN’T horrible parents if they choose to formula feed. That is their personal choice and no matter what the story is behind it they should not be chastised or feel bad about their choice.

It Aint Always Rosy {Co-Sleeping}

Co-Sleeping

From the first night I brought my son home I really had no idea how the sleeping thing would work. I mean I had an idea that he’d eventually sleep in a crib. Cause all babies sleep in cribs, right? But I had the pack n’ play set up in our room for at least the first few nights. I had heard that it would be easier for me to sleep if he was in the room with us. Especially if we were breastfeeding.

So we came home. And my baby slept in my arms. Literally in my arms. I slept sitting up those first few nights. I really didn’t feel like I could put that little angel down. He was so tiny. How was he going to sleep without being right with me. Maybe it was just because he was a part of me for so long and I didn’t want to let that go.

Then because we were successful in breastfeeding I just kept him in our bed at night because it was so much easier than the thought of actually having to get out of bed and get up in the middle of the night. Plus he was a pretty good sleeper and hardly woke up to nurse when he was hungry. None of this hours of no sleep. He’d wake up, fuss a bit, nurse and fall back to sleep. I didn’t know why everyone else said they were so exhausted during the newborn stage.

And I started feeling a bit weird about still having him in bed with us. So I tried to transition him to the crib. I guess I didn’t try hard enough. I read that starting with naps first might be the best way to go. So I would put him in his crib once he nursed himself to sleep (or I rocked him to sleep). But he always seemed to wake up 1/2 an hour or less later. That didn’t seem right. So after a few naps like this I went back to having him nap in our bed or in his swing. 1-2 hours… much better!

I would try to transition him every few weeks but he never seemed to want to stay in his crib long. He much preferred our bed. What I didn’t realize was that I was hardly helping him in this transition. When he was younger I didn’t really put him down. Ever. So he got used to needing me to soothe him to sleep. So I just gave up on the crib and said we were going to co-sleep. Then he started getting bigger. And my husband didn’t feel comfortable in bed anymore. He’d wake up with a foot in his back and only five inches of bed to lay on. I understood and started looking into alternatives.

So at 15 months our son transitioned from our bed to his own twin bed. In his room. And it worked great for the first few days. He napped perfectly in there. And would call out to me to pick him up when he woke. Nights were a bit different. He would sleep until 3am and then would wake and call for me. I’d either bring him into bed with us or fall asleep with him in his bed.

Today he sleeps in his room. But he usually ends up crawling in bed with us at around 3am. And even with the second one I never quite figured out how to transition an infant to the crib. I did get a co-sleeper though so I try and remember to put our daughter in there for 1/2 of the night. And I promise I’ll try better to transition her to the crib. Maybe…

It Aint Always Rosy {Being a Mom}

A friend of mine and I got to talking one day. About life. And kids. And how jealous we get of each other. Not necessarily jealous, no, that’s no the right word, but how inadequate we felt about ourselves as moms when we started to compare how we mother, how we live and how quickly (or slowly) our children accomplished milestones to how others are doing it. It got me thinking how many other friends feel this way. How many other girlfriends who don’t really see the “real” me.

You see… I’m far from a perfect mom (big surprise there). I do think that some of this mothering thing really did come naturally. I truly feel that some part of our ability to be a mom is innate. So I may make certain things look natural but what you don’t know is that I am really good at keeping things in. And failing to mention other things.

I get angry with my son. And sometimes even with my infant daughter who can’t even speak yet. I raise my voice. I tap little hands when they pinch or hit. And sometimes I yell and get mad when he sits in front of me and pees his pants on purpose even though every book I’ve read tells me it’s not the right thing to do. My son eats french fries when we go out for lunch or dinner. Sometimes he doesn’t get one vegetable in him. And sometimes I forget to give him breakfast (bad mom right there!).

My parenting style is not reflective of one book or one belief. It’s an accumulation of many different influences and what feels right. Sometimes it’s just what feels right at that moment. And sometimes what “feels right” is choosing the easiest choice for that time. Following the path of least resistance.

What’s funny is that all of mine and my husband’s major choices in parenting seem to make us (me) look pretty crunchy. I breastfeed, We co-sleep, I baby-wear, I make our children’s food (for the most part), I didn’t sleep train (might consider it with the second) and try not to let my child cry for long. But what these choices in parenting don’t show is why I do all of these things. And to tell you the truth the answer is that I do most of these things out of convenience.

So I’m going to break down the different aspects of my “parenting style” for you this week. Give you a little inside look to my choices and decisions as a parent. Feel free to ask questions, point out my flaws, share your parenting style and over all feel better about how you parent (or how you’re going to do everything better when you do parent) because you shouldn’t feel bad about how you’re doing it.

As long as your kids are happy, healthy and fed I’m sure you’re doing a great job!



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